Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember (Part 2)

Have you ever started to tell a funny joke only to forget the punchline halfway through? While the forgetfulness could be funny on its own, no one wants to suffer through the embarrassment of messing up a good joke, especially if it’s one of the funniest jokes of all time. Sometimes you need to get a quick laugh on demand, and what better way to do it than with one of these short jokes?

You can pull these short English jokes out of your back pocket when you’re in need of something funny on the fly. Plus, we included some of the funniest one-liners, work jokes and a few short jokes for kids that’ll surely have them giggling.

• How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten-tickles.

• What did 0 say to 8?

“Nice belt.”

• What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

• What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

Give me my quarterback.

• Why are elephants wrinkly?

Because you can’t iron them.

• What did the cake say to the fork?

You want a piece of me?

• Why did the strawberry cry?

He found himself in a jam.

• Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?

They dribble all the time.

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• What did the lettuce say to the celery?

Quit stalking me!

• What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?

A chew-chew train.

• What’s small and red and has a rough voice?

A hoarse radish!

• Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties?

Because they are such fungis.

• Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?

Too many ears.

• Why couldn’t the bad sailor learn the alphabet?

Because he always got lost at “C.”

• How did the two cats end their fight?

They hissed and made up.

• “Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

He won the ‘no-bell’ prize.”

This article appeared in Reader's Digest (https://www.rd.com/list/short-jokes/).