Those who do not laugh at history are doomed to repeat it. These history jokes will provide the lessons and LOLs you need.
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The funniest history jokes of all time
A study of history shows that humans have always been hilarious. Why, there are probably jokes on cave walls, like: What do you call the slowest hunter in the pack? (Answer: Bait.) History jokes can make us feel less alone in the present, more knowledgeable about the past and more hopeful that whatever we’re going through now will be funny in the future. Plus, you’ll feel super smart when you get these funny jokes. Feel free to email your old history teacher to show him you were paying attention way back when!
From ancient-history humor to presidential jokes and everything in between, this list has something for everyone. So please, sit down for the only history class you can’t fail, and enjoy this collection of 100-plus history jokes from all ages, for all ages.
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Funny history jokes
- Why was World War I so quick?
Because they were Russian.
- Why was World War II so slow?
Because they were Stalin.
- What was Louis XIV after he finished the Palace of Versailles?
Baroque.
- What is the name of a severely injured historical figure?
Napoleon Bone-apart!
- Who rides through South America on a horse with a sense of entitlement and a savory tart?
A con-quiche-tador.
- How do you get Americans to join a world war?
Tell them it’s nearly finished.
- Why is England the wettest country?
Because the royal family’s always reigning.
- Why are the pyramids in Egypt?
Because they were too heavy for a museum to steal.
- How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By Norse code.
- Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
- Who was the most popular band in caveman times?
Stone Age Temple Pilots.
- Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.
- Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
- Why was the Russian city renamed Stalingrad?
Because Joseph Stalin finished college.
- Why did Karl Marx dislike drinking Earl Grey with his breakfast?
Because proper tea is theft.
- What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock!
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